I am heading off for a well-deserved holiday and won’t be posting until mid February. I look forward to catching up with you then!
In the meantime, I will be checking email so if you need to get in touch please do so!
applestoorangesconsulting@gmail.com
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You’ve probably noticed the media storm this past week as more information is coming out about the possible changes to the new DSM-V in regards to Autism, Aspergers and PDD-NOS. Parents are anxious, confused and unsure what is happening and are fearful of what these changes mean for their child.
If you haven’t heard of the DSM, it is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It’s published by the American Psychiatric Association and provides a common language and standard criteria for the classification of mental disorders.
So it’s the book used when children are being diagnosed with Autism, Aspergers and PDD-NOS.
Marianne Sarola-Russo the host of The Coffee Klatch Blog Talk Radio interviews Temple Grandin, and authors of “Bright Not Broken“, Rebecca Banks and Diane Kennedy.
Temple, Rebecca and Diane discuss their concerns with the changes, the addition of a multitude of new disorders and their fear that children with autism are going to be misdiagnosed due to the new criteria and what that means then for receiving services.
This interview is worth the time to listen as these changes will affect us all!
Filed under: advocacy, aspergers, autism, autism awareness, autism in adulthood, parent education, PDD-NOS, Temple Grandin, Welcome Wednesday | No Comments »
A recording of today’s free webinar “3 Critical Mistakes Parents Make When Choosing Interventions” is now available!
We all want to make the right decisions when it comes to our child. In this 30 minute webinar you’ll learn how to avoid common pitfalls parents encounter when making these big decisions!
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Last week I wrote about priorities and how we often talk about our priorities but our actions don’t always match up with the talk.
As parents we say things like our health is a priority but we don’t eat properly. Or we say our marriage is a priority but we haven’t gone a date night since the kids were born. Sound familiar?
When you add onto that occupational therapy appointments, speech therapy appointments, behaviour consultant appointments, doctors appointments, etc. etc. there just never seems to be enough time in the day.
Well, I’m here to tell you, we’re going to find that time back! It’s there, it’s just hiding.
This week we’re going to put our actions where our mouth is. Or at least we’re going to start moving in that direction. Baby steps…I know!
I have an exercise for you to do this week that will really help you prioritize things and find time for the most important things in your life.
This is an exercise I take parents through when I’m helping them transition to the GFCF diet and they are trying to fit in new routines that align with their priority of health for their child. I’ve used it myself a couple of times when I felt the need to realign my daily actions with my true priorities.
Before you start you’ll need a few things:
So I want you to print off this one week planner.
This planner only has the hours listed. Write in the half hours in between.
The other thing you’ll need is 4 or 5 highlighters or coloured pencils.
Next, I’d like you to read this little story:
One day, an old professor of the School of Public Management in France, was invited to lecture on the topic of “Efficient Time Management” in front of a group of 15 executive managers representing the largest, most successful companies in America. The lecture was one in a series of five lectures conducted in one day, and the old professor was given one hour to lecture.
Standing in front of this group of elite managers—who were willing to write down every word that would come out of the famous professor’s mouth—the professor slowly met eyes with each manager, one by one, and finally said, ‘we are going to conduct an experiment’.
From under the table that stood between the professor and the listeners, the professor pulled out a big glass jar and gently placed it in front of him. Next, he pulled out from under the table a bag of stones, each the size of a tennis ball, and placed the stones one by one in the jar. He did so until there was no room to add another stone in the jar. Lifting his gaze to the managers, the professor asked, ‘Is the jar full?’ The managers replied, ‘Yes’.
The professor paused for a moment, and replied, ‘Really?’ Then once again, he reached under the table and pulled out a bag full of pebbles. Carefully, the professor poured the pebbles in and slightly rattled the jar, allowing the pebbles to slip through the larger stones, until they settled at the bottom. Again, the professor lifted his gaze to his audience and asked, ‘is the jar full?’
At this point, the managers began to understand his intentions. One replied, ‘apparently not!’
‘Correct’, replied the old professor, now pulling out a bag of sand from under the table. Cautiously, the professor poured the sand into the jar. The sand filled up the spaces between the stones and the pebbles. Yet again, the professor asked, ‘is the jar full?’ Without hesitation, the entire group of students replied in unison, ‘No!’
‘Correct’, replied the professor. And as was expected by the students, the professor reached for the pitcher of water that was on the table, and poured water in the jar until it was absolutely full. The professor now lifted his gaze once again and asked, ‘What great truth can we surmise from this experiment?’
With his thoughts on the lecture topic, one manager quickly replied, ‘We learn that as full as our schedules may appear, if we only increase our effort, it is always possible to add more meetings and tasks.’ ‘No’, replied the professor.
‘The great truth that we can conclude from this experiment is: If we don’t put all the larger stones in the jar first, we will never be able to fit all of them later.’
Isn’t that great?! I LOVE that little story.
Okay, now let’s put this into action. I want you to think of 4 or 5 of your big priorities in life, the stones in your life. For many people these are health, family, work, household management and time to them self.
I want you to add up all of the waking hours you have in a week. For most people it’s somewhere around 112 hours. I then want you to take a look at these different “stones” in your life and decide how many hours you’d like to ideally be spending on each one.
Assign one colour of highlighter to each of these. Then take a look at the first day on your daily planner starting with the time you get up. Using your highlighters start marking your day according to how you spend it using these 4 topics as your guidelines.
For example, I have a little “me” time when I first get up because I get up before everyone else. Then from about 6:30am to 9am it’s family time as I get everyone fed, dressed and to their various destinations. From 9am to 10:30am I have work time. Then 10:30am to 10:45am I have a little break which might be “me” time or might be “household” time if I’m doing something like throwing some laundry in. Back to work by about 10:45am to noon. Then some “me” time as I eat lunch and maybe read a book. Then back to work, then pick up kids, then tidy the house, then make dinner, then….
You get the idea!!
Now add up the hours for each different colour you’ve used and compare that with how many hours you said you would IDEALLY like to be spending in each area.
Hmmmm…..is it even close?
Don’t worry if it’s not. That’s what this is all about! This is about recognizing where our talk is not matching our actions.
Okay, that’s it for this week! I’ll leave you to sit with that and next week we’ll take the next step in moving toward our aligning our actions with our true priorities.
Now, to reward you for all of your hard work…
This gorgeous necklace has been donated by Nicole from Fabulous Accessories. At a Fabulous Accessories party you can indulge your friends with the Ultimate Personal Shopping Experience. Shop for current, trend-setting fashion accessories! It’s casual, no pressure and most of all Fun!! The Prices are Fabulous and hostess rewards are great!!
If you’d like to see more of what Nicole has to offer visit her facebook page or her website.
You can enter up to 4 times by doing each of these things.
1. Visit Nicole’s website and come back and let us know what your favourite item is.
2. Visit Nicole’s Facebook page and leave a comment under the giveaway post on her wall.
3. Leave a comment below about your biggest surprise in doing this week’s Jar of Life exercise.
4. Everyone who subscribes to the Apples to Oranges Newsletter will get another entry. (Don’t worry, if you already subscribe, I’ll give you another entry for being a loyal fan. 
Pin It
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After experimenting with a few different recipes this is what I arrived at! I think I’m going to call them:
2 1/4 cup icing (confectioners) sugar
1 cup dutch cocoa
3 egg whites
2 tsp vanilla
chocolate chips for sprinkling on top
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease muffin tin.
Mix everything except the chocolate chips together until smooth. This takes a little work but it will eventually combine and look like cake batter.
Distribute evenly into a lightly greased 12 cup muffin tin.
Sprinkle several chocolate chips on the top of each one.
Bake for 15 minutes. The tops will look crackled.
Allow to cool until still just warm. Gently remove from muffin tin. These are amazing when they’re warm and gooey and believe it or not they are even better the next day when they’re soft and chewy.
Pin ItFiled under: casein free, chocolate (every blog should have a chocolate category), dairy free, desserts, diet, Foodie Friday, recipes | 3 Comments »
The dictionary defines “Priority” as something important that must be done first or needs more attention than anything else or something given special attention.
It’s a pretty simple concept. Some things are more important than others and should then therefore be given priority.
And yet, putting that into action can seem very difficult. Especially when we’re unclear about what our priorities are.
When you become the parent of a child with special needs your priorities in life seem to suddenly change…drastically!
Suddenly this little being can become your biggest priority, an all consuming, above everything else, priority around which your entire life revolves. 
And understandably. We’ve given life to this little person and we feel that giving them nothing less than 200% of our effort to give them the best life possible should be our number one priority…always, every day, every hour, every minute…we’re always thinking about what we can do next to ensure we’re doing our absolute best.
But is that realistic? Is it sustainable? Is it healthy? And at whose expense are you maintaining this priority?
And even if you’ve clearly defined your priorities, are you actually living them or are you constantly distracted by other, less important things? Are you actively paying attention to your priorities? Or are they more like that New Year’s Resolution that goes by the wayside by January 2nd?
Today I’d like for all of us to consider our priorities. This can be a huge topic so we’re going to keep it pretty basic for now.
Let’s start by writing down your top 6 priorities. Need some suggestions to get started? Physical and emotional health, your marriage, your children, family, friends, work, education, travel and leisure.
Now, make a list of your daily activities and how much time you spend on each activity. And be honest! Start from the minute you wake up until you go to bed at night. Now compare your two lists. Do they match up?
The way we live our life tells the truth about our priorities. Are we actually living them or are we just paying them lip service?
Now…here comes what should be the easiest part, but is often the hardest. From your list, choose your number one priority.
Here’s a hint…..IF IT’S NOT YOURSELF IT SHOULD BE!
If you’re not looking after yourself you can’t take care of others. There’s a saying that goes something like, fill your own cup first and then fill others’ with the overflow.
Now trust me, I’m no saint when it comes to always keeping my priorities in line. I’m distracted sometimes and make excuses with the best of them. But it’s the times when I’m feeling overwhelmed, worn out and unfocused that remind me to take a step back, realign my priorities and look after myself.
Making changes so that the way you live is aligned with your priorities doesn’t happen overnight. In these times of instant messaging, instant potatoes and instant gratification we expect things to happen quickly.
But think of it this way. You didn’t get here overnight. So you’re not going to change overnight.
Change also requires small, incremental steps. Suddenly changing things is overwhelming.
So here’s my challenge to you this week. Write down your priorities for yourself. No one else. Just you. Then meet me back here next week and we’ll take that list and put it into action.
And guess what, I’m going to do this with you! I’ll let you in on some of my priorities and we can work on this together.
This necklace was generously donated by Randi S. a fellow mom of a child with autism. Thanks Randi!
If you feel like sharing your list of priorities for yourself, please do so!! Everyone who leaves a comment below will be entered to win a beautiful Robin’s egg necklace. The winner’s necklace will have white “eggs” in the nest.
For additional entries into the draw just click any or all of the buttons below and share this article to Twitter, Facebook etc.
The winner will be announced in next Monday’s blog post along with our NEXT giveaway!
Good luck!!
Filed under: acceptance, ADHD, autism, busy moms, giveaway, Monday Musings, parent education, self-esteem, special needs parenting, Success | 11 Comments »
I recently worked with a mother and daughter who were working together to make dietary changes for the daughter’s little boy. In one of our conversations the mother asked me “As the grandmother, how can I best support my daughter and her family through all of this? Before I gave her my suggestions I wanted to see if I could find other parents’ experiences with grandparents so that I could be sure I was giving her a well-rounded answer.
In my research I came across Jennifer Krumin’s latest book “Autism and the Grandparent Connection.” I was so excited to find this new resource for parents so I just had to have Jennifer join us on the blog so we could learn more about who she is, what her experience is and how she can help!
Welcome Jennifer!
After writing the first two books I was struck by the number of grandparents that would contact me searching for any kind of help and hope that they could get. They all shared a common question: How can I help without interfering? What role can I play? At the same time, I was reflecting on what role my parents and in laws played in our family’s journey with autism. 
One thing is for certain, parents of children diagnosed with autism need support; a lot of support. The potential role of grandparents and extended family cannot be overstated. “It takes a village to raise a child.” The burden is emotional, physical, financial and social. Parents need family to help them with this responsibility. It is a load too heavy for one human to bear alone. Too often grandparents think that if they cannot be physically present then their role is less critical. Not true. There are SO many ways to help even if you are thousands of miles away!
Kieran is our second child, sandwiched between two sisters. He is now 16 years old. He was diagnosed with classic severe autism when he was 4 years old. Our son existed in a self contained state of social isolation. He had no innate ability to connect with others appropriately. The quietest room inside or the most isolated refuge outside was where we would expect to find him. Kieran seemed unable to distinguish between the adults of family and those of non-family. Climbing into the laps of unsuspecting guests and embracing strangers was disconcerting to us in those early years. His ease with adults sharply contrasted to an apparent dislike of male peers. While physically attacking unsuspecting boys, both large and small, he provided a protective stance for some of the girls in his surroundings.
Those early, formative years of play were shallow, infrequent and often short -lived. Instead, Kieran developed an early addiction to the isolation of television. His repetitive immersion in that world further diminished any social interaction but revealed an ability to echo verbatim what he heard. Those scripts proved to be a light in the dark for us as they revealed a hidden capacity of speech and gave clear evidence of his inherent capabilities.
Kieran became intensely terrified of computers, fax machines and houseflies. He hated sunlight, tags or seams in his clothes and he refused to eat almost everything. When frustrated he screamed at ear piercing pitch and he would hit, rip and destroy anything that he could touch.
The torment within him was heartbreaking. He would hide under tables, cry frequently and inconsolably. Early in life Kieran had a persistent intolerance to changes in routine. Long lasting episodes of tears and pervasive sadness were often the result of taking a detour while traveling, changing the order of errands or altering anything in his environment. The sensory “overload” that haircuts, hair washes and nail cutting caused, created in him sheer terror and nothing less. Our son was a little Houdini in that he would wander off unnoticed in a matter of seconds. He had no regard for his safety. These few isolated vignettes illustrate a snapshot of our confused and troubled son and they point to the despair of his little malfunctioning mind.
At the age of five he began an Intensive Behaviour Intervention program using Applied Behaviour Analysis and working for 20 hours/week with a trained instructor therapist named, Colleen. Within a month we began to witness the transformation of our little boy. The intensity of instruction was releasing his mind from its wiring malfunctions and showing us the true promise of a totally competent being. The change from a little boy who chose to be isolated from peers to a little boy who would seek interpersonal relationships has been a phenomenon. Where he once chose to retreat to his own private world, Kieran now pre-planned engagements with a newly discovered world of friends and playmates. Birthdays, school friends, siblings and cousins were now sources of anticipation and no longer targets of anger and isolation. The growth of an extensive vocabulary and desire to vocalize gave evidence of a totally new child who now chose to express a level of his happiness, his sadness and feelings about himself and those around him. It was as if we were meeting our child for the first time. Our little boy began to be able to articulate his feelings and his preferences without tearing apart a room. The spirit of the boy inside of him began to emerge and at last we tasted the sweetness of hope.
But, a year later, at his sixth birthday, Kieran “aged out” of the Early Autism Program” and our world crumbled once more. Within months, Kieran’s progress slowed. His success had waned considerably. In grade one he struggled with concept development, fine motor skills, eye contact, social interactions, attention to task, and following instructions. I felt as though, once again, the real Kieran Krumins was trapped inside a shell and the only people that could get him out were not allowed access to him. The pain of watching our son slip back to his old ways was unbearable. He had an incredible teacher who loved him with all of her heart but she felt helpless against the strength of the autism. Kieran was well behaved in class but his teacher lamented that she didn’t feel he was truly learning. He would go through the motions of some activities and he would sit quietly and make no disruption. But, this teacher was wise for she knew that a lack of disruptive behaviour did not necessarily mean that a child was learning! The teacher realized that in spite of her best efforts, Kieran was enjoying the fact that no was able to break into his little world.
Despite the fact that he had a terrific teacher his little mind was difficult to tap into. He had no real way of expressing what he knew and what he didn’t. Skills he learned in the class weren’t being transferred at home or even in other parts of the school! Meanwhile, my husband and I researched. We met with many people that told us that IBI would not work in a school setting. I was not convinced. I was even more perplexed that no one could offer an equally valuable replacement for this therapy. If he didn’t have IBI then how would he be taught? There had to be a way to tap into his mind and free him from the stronghold of his autism!
Our desperate need to reach Kieran once again, led us to Dr. Joel Hundert and his team at the Behaviour Institute in Hamilton, Ontario. He believed that ABA was valuable beyond the pre-school age. Armed with a team of willing therapists and a psychologist who shared our aspirations, they created a private program using ABA (not just IBI) techniques.
We were determined to help Kieran to develop those aspects of himself that he found challenging and to use his strengths to motivate his learning. In essence, our goal was to make even his “uneven skill profile.” We guessed that he was an intelligent child that was simply unable to access the learning that happened in a regular classroom without some specialized techniques. Ideally, we had wanted these strategies to be used in a classroom setting. But, change is slow and we had to work with what the school boards were able to offer.
Knowing that our resources were very limited, advocating for the use of Applied Behaviour Analysis in schools became our family’s mission; second only to educating our son in the best methods we knew possible and raising our two daughters.
Like many families in North America, my husband and I knew that if change was going to happen we would have to promote it. Looking back, it was money, energy and time well invested. While our society still has a long way to go in terms of creating schools where every child is able to learn according to the way that their brain is created, I do believe that changes are happening. It must happen. Our society will not be able to financially or morally afford to discount the training of each child’s mind to reach its full potential. Our governments and school boards need to make clear standards that compel the use of scientifically proven methodologies.
When Kieran was finally ready to learn in a regular school environment, he was laced full time in a regular classroom with an Educational Assistant (shared with other kids) and resource withdrawal. He worked at school an at home on social skills and social thinking and numerous sports and activities in the community. He is a socially active 16 year old boy who has great friends and a keen interest in bass guitar. His early foundation has helped him become a good student and he is a dedicated competitive swimmer. The road has not been easy but he has worked very hard to be the director of his own life and not allow the autism to determine his fate. He speaks publicly to educators, peers and professionals because he feels that he has to be a voice for his peers that have no voice. We are very proud!
Even through the tears, we knew that our son was here to teach us something. Individuals with autism have gifts that they bring to the world. Sadly, the world doesn’t always recognize these treasures. Our own son and the students that I have had the privilege of teaching have made me take a hard look at what I value and what I believe about purpose and fulfillment in life. They have collectively taught me that getting ahead doesn’t always bring real happiness but looking into the eyes of a child that finally conquers a skill…now that is pure joy! My kids have taught me to really tune into my senses; truly feel the sun on my skin and the smell of a spring day. My kids have taught me to slow down and really look at even the most seemingly insignificant things in life and see their glory with new eyes. I have learned that our productivity doesn’t make us loveable; we already are. Our purpose in life isn’t about financial gain and material prosperity; it is about accepting ourselves and being at peace with the essence of who we are; living our lives for the sake of bringing some peace and light to others. My kids with autism have taught me more than I could hope to teach them. Yes, they have brought me frustration, exhaustion and sometimes pain but, over and above that, my students and my own children have pushed me to greater understanding, higher levels of learning and elevated awareness of the gifts that surround us and live in us. 
With the diagnosis of autism came a persistent will to learn more, read more, take courses, and to become more. I became tenacious and determined. I learned how to go after what I wanted for him but in the spirit of collaboration. If anyone had told me years before his birth that I would work part time as a teacher, run a therapy program, raise three children and nurture a marriage, I would have thought them crazy! We do not know the strength we have until we are given it. It isn’t until we are swimming for our lives that the lifesavers arrive. My son forced me to stretch every ounce of comfort level and reach into the realm of UNCOMFORTABLE. I have grown stronger, more capable and more self confident because of him.
Living with and teaching children with autism have taught me to value those people that come into my life that give of their time and talent. I am grateful for the countless therapists, doctors, teachers, and fellow parents and paraprofessionals who helped us find our way and our son. I am even grateful for those who were less than helpful. They taught me important lessons about my own attitude and behaviour. I learned that everyone plays a role in shaping the person you become. The debilitating impact of assumptions, glares and disapproval have taught me to teach rather than judge. Information tears down ignorance. I see inappropriate behavior differently now. I can empathize, smile and reassure. I have learned to build relationships in order to create a solid support system for my son and myself. I have become a strong and respectful advocate.
Teaching for 22 years in regular and then special education classrooms has equipped me with vast experience in all kinds of learning differences and challenging learning difficulties. But none would compare with teaching my own son both in the general classroom (for two years) and in private therapy at home. It was these experiences that both drained me emotionally and inspired me professionally. Being the teacher and the mom brought me face to face with my own teaching philosophy and my teaching practices. I earned my Special Education Specialist and I undertook extensive training from Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario and the Geneva Centre for Autism in Toronto, Ontario. I am currently working on my Masters Degree in Special Education at the Ontario Institute for studies in Education at University of Toronto.
I am particularly interested in writing and speaking about educating individuals with autism. I am passionate about inspiring those who live with or work with individuals with autism to see hope in the diagnosis and I have had the opportunity to speak in Ontario and in some states in the U.S.. I want to facilitate collaboration, teamwork and mutual understanding in the education of our children. I hope to ease the anxiety that some teachers may feel when faced with the opportunity to teach a child with autism and I want parents to see the gifts that autism brings with it. Yes, these children bring a whole new set of deficits and impairments with them, but, more importantly, they bring with them an opportunity for expanding our skills and growth in understanding. They are not a problem to be solved; children with autism are a gift to be unwrapped. There are many hidden gems inside of each and every child; it is our privilege as educators and parents to be able to find them.
One? Keep your expectations high. Build your child’s self esteem by allowing him/her the opportunity to try and to do things for themselves. AVOID being a helicopter parent who swoops in and rescues as soon as things are hard. Kids learn to respect themselves by being self reliant and capable. They do not build self esteem when we solve all their problems. I would also say that provide yoyr child with a lot of opportunities in social activities in the community. They don’t always like them but in order to develop social skills, other skills and relationships our kids need to be involved. Swimming, skateboarding, dance, golf, art groups, and music are all ways to get your child out of the autism world. It is important though, to allow the child to spend time in their world following the more difficult social world! ☺
Last, advocate with self control and respect: the road is long and when we burn bridges we end up hurting our children. There is SO much to say on that one!! ☺
Jennifer is the author three books and also offers coaching for parents of children with autism. Want to connect with Jennifer or purchase books? Check her out on Facebook or on her website!
Jennifer has generously offered to give away a copy of her latest book to one lucky reader!!
You can enter your name up to 4 times!
Here’s how:
1. Leave a comment below about your experience with grandparents and your child with autism, either positive or challenging!
2. Visit Jennifer’s website and then come back here and let us know which of her other two books look of interest to you.
3. Visit Jennifer’s Facebook page and leave a comment. Be sure to tag Apples to Oranges in your post so I can count that entry.
4. Visit the Apples to Oranges Facebook Page and leave a comment and be sure to tag Autism Aspirations (Jennifer’s FB page) in your post.
Basically, we’d love to hear from you and for you to share Jennifer’s info around so others can discover this great resource!
Filed under: advocacy, ASD, aspergers, autism, autism awareness, educators, giveaway, grandparents, Relationships, special needs parenting, Welcome Wednesday | 2 Comments »
In 2009 a study came out reporting that mothers of children with autism have stress similar to combat soldiers. In 2011 a study revealed that 30% of fathers of children with autism experienced symptoms of depression so severe that they warranted clinical attention.
I would venture to say you could likely apply those study results to parents of children with many other special needs diagnosis.
Chronic stress can cause physical, emotional and psychological ill-health. When someone is under a lot of stress they are constantly experiencing the effects of their body’s “fight or flight” reaction. The “fight or flight” reaction is when our body releases certain hormones like adrenaline and cortisol in response to a perceived threat or danger. It’s our body’s primitive way of self-preservation. And in those moments we choose to run away or stay and fight. Often with problem that neither option is particularly desirable. 
The difference is that these days, instead of running from a saber-toothed tiger or fighting with a neighbouring tribe, we’re responding to meltdowns from our child, conflicts with teachers, fear of the unknown, loss of control, financial worries, lack of time, tense relationships, guilt and the list goes on.
I’m an optimist, (sometimes to a fault). And I’m also a problem solver. It just seems to come naturally to my personality. Don’t get me wrong. I have my fair share of break downs and pity parties but when I’m done wiping the tears I pull myself up and think “okay, what am I going to do about this.”
With that outlook in mind, I’ve decided to write a series on special needs parenting that addresses some common issues we all experience on a constant basis. No, I’m not a parenting expert, nor am I a relationship counsellor, behaviour therapist, financial advisor or all-round general super hero.
But I’ve been doing this long enough now and have talked to enough parents that I feel like I have something worthwhile to share with you.
And I have a feeling that you also have something worthwhile to share with other parents. So hey, let’s make it interactive!!
Now before you get all squeamish and uncomfortable thinking you’re going to have talk about your deepest, darkest, inner feelings while we all hold hands and chant I should also mention I tend to err on the side of practical and realistic.
Sure, I love a good yoga class, green smoothie and self-help book as much as the next gal (okay, actually I hate self-help books but that’s another story). And those things certainly have their place. I’m all over self-awareness and personal growth. But when it comes to relieving the daily stress of special needs parenting I know that practical and realistic actions take priority. I also know that it doesn’t happen overnight. Actions need to build over time. We didn’t get where we are in a day and we won’t change it in a day either.
Every Monday I’ll be posting an article about familiar issues all of us parents experience from that unique perspective that only another parent of a child with special needs can understand.
And every week I’ll invite you to comment, leave your own stories, ask questions and make suggestions. For everyone who contributes we’ll have some fun things to give away every week. Like I said, I’m no parenting guru. I know that I can learn a lot from others’ experiences. So that’s why I’d love to hear from you.
Until next week…
Filed under: autism, busy moms, giveaway, parent education, special needs parenting | No Comments »
These are so easy to make and the great thing is that they also freeze well. You can make a batch, throw them in the freezer and take them out individually for a quick, protein rich breakfast.
When I made these I used Kinnikinnick Pastry Mix for the crust. But I also have a great pie crust recipe from scratch. It’s up to you!
Pie Crust
1/3 cup brown rice flour
1/3 cup tapioca flour
1/3 cup potato starch
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon gluten-free baking powder
1 teaspoon xanthan gum
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup Earth Balance Shortening
1 egg, cold
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Sift together rice and tapioca flour, potato and cornstarch, sugar, baking powder, xanthan gum, and salt into a mixing bowl.
Cut cold shortening into dry ingredients. Blend with a pastry cutter until butter in incorporated into the dry ingredients.
The dough should hold together when squeezed. Beat egg with vinegar and mix into dough.
Form dough into a ball with your hands. Add a little tapioca flour if the dough is too sticky.
Sprinkle some sweet rice flour on your counter and roll the dough out. I prefer to roll half of the dough at a time.
Instead of rolling directly onto your counter you can also roll the dough onto parchment paper.
Using a large mouth drinking glass or other circular container, cut circles into your dough. Circles should be about 1 inch larger in diameter than the top of each circle in your muffin tin.
Push individual circles of dough into your muffin tin. Crimp the sides to make it fit.
Filling
1 dozen eggs
1/2 cup So Delicious Coconut Milk (not canned) or rice milk
4 green onions chopped finely
cooked bacon chopped into small pieces
Daiya dairy free shredded cheddar cheese
Beat together eggs and milk alternative.
Pour egg mixture into each quiche crust almost to the top.
Sprinkle onions and bacon into each quiche. Top with Daiya shredded cheddar cheese.
Bake at 375 for 30 minutes.
Allow to cool and then carefully remove from muffin tin.
Serve with some fresh fruit and you’ve got the perfect breakfast! Serve with a salad and you’ve got dinner!
Other Awesome Quiche Combos
Ham, green peppers, Daiya cheddar
Gluten Free pepperoni, mushrooms, Daiya pepperjack cheese
Chopped spinach, tomatoes, fresh basil
Smoked salmon, capers, fresh dill
Get creative and try different combos of meat, veggies and herbs!
Filed under: autism, casein free, dairy free, Daiya, diet, dinner, Foodie Friday, gluten free, Kinnikinnick, recipes, So Delicious Coconut Milk | 2 Comments »
I read this blog article about a month ago and was touched by how candid the author was about being a teacher and just not “getting” parents of children with special needs.
Now, as her own child with special needs is just a few months away from entering the school system, Leigh Merryday author of the blog Flappiness Is…, gets it.
Leigh’s son is almost 3 years old and it’s already apparent he is on the autism spectrum. Having had relatives on the spectrum and being a teacher Leigh thought she had a pretty good understanding of the world of special needs.
I can relate to Leigh because before I had my kids I worked in group homes, day programs and did respite for children and adults with special needs. I thought I “got it”. And I was guilty of smack talking “that parent” after they left with their list of demands left behind for us staff to comply with. Luckily I’ve grown out of that young, naive attitude.
Like Leigh, we’ve all discovered, sending your own child with special needs out into the big world is a whole other story. Leigh now understands the overwhelm, the anxiety and the fear of allowing someone else to be the grown up in your child’s life, even just for a few hours of the day.
So without further ado, enjoy this republishing of Leigh’s letter.
Dear Parents of Special-Needs Children I’ve Taught In the Past,
I need to make a big apology. You see, I’ve been teaching now for fourteen years, but I have only just recently joined your ranks.
I didn’t know. Not even a clue. I thought, mistakenly, that having two special-needs children in my family made me more sensitive to your needs as a parent. It didn’t. And I’m so sorry for operating under the assumption that it did. I’m not attempting verbal self-flagellation here. I meant well. I knew a lot about autism and some about other special-needs conditions. I did care about your child. And I did want to do right by him. But, like a lot of teachers who Just Don’t Get It, I thought doing right by him meant giving him extra time on assignments and not allowing him to fail my class. I thought being extra nice and seating her at the front of the room was what you needed from me.
But you needed more. And I didn’t understand that. You needed communication. A lot of it. You needed me to understand your depth of worry. You needed me to understand that, if you’ve met one special-needs child, you’ve met one special-needs child. You needed me to understand that I was teaching your child, not an I.E.P. You needed to know, not assume, that I would go out on a limb to make sure your child’s needs were met all over the school and not just in my classroom. You needed to not worry that, when your back was turned, I was still doing everything that I promised as well as thinking of better ways to meet your child’s needs. You needed to talk about your child in meetings and not worry about the clock.
I know better now. In just a few months, I am going to be placing my special little boy into the hands of the public school system. Because he is non-verbal, I will have no way of literally knowing how his day went, if he is being treated well, and if those to whom I am entrusting his care really do care about him. This kind of fear is paralyzing. And more so because I know just how little training (read almost none) that most of the staff in a public school have in dealing with children like my son. They, too, will mean well. But they won’t know. They won’t get it. I now know why you carry The Binder of Epic Proportions to every meeting. Mine is getting bigger by the day.
I look back now at all of your children and wish that I had picked up the phone more, written quick notes home more often, challenged your child more often rather than less, and made you feel certain that someone else loved your baby in your absence. For that, I’m sorry. I promise to do better for those kids in the future. I promise to not assume anything about your child’s unique situation and needs. I won’t just react to bullying of your very different child. I will actively be on the lookout for it. I will remember your child and her possible confusion on activity bell schedule days. I will take more time each day to get to know her. I promise to do my best to push, cajole, educate, and even take to task my colleagues who don’t get it in the years to come. I pray that teacher training will improve in the future and that my son will reap the rewards of that. And I hope that I am just as patient, kind, and understanding with his teachers and schools as most of you were with us.
And those of you who weren’t? I get you too.
Sincerely,
Your Child’s Former Teacher
Check out some of Leigh’s other great blog posts!
Dear Shopper Staring at My Child Having a Meltdown in the Grocery Store
So You’re Wondering if Your Child Might Be Autistic
Dear Friend Whom I Haven’t Seen Much of Lately
You can also connect with Leigh on 
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